"The 14 shows of 2013 to prepare for 2014." or "What I've learned in the past year."

As a final blog entry for the year 2013 or what has ended up being the first post of 2014, I thought I would review what I’ve learned over the course of the past year.  Oddly, there were 14 shows this year that I was either involved with, been asked to be part of, or had auditioned for and didn’t get.  I figured that it would be interesting to look back at the past year and comment on all the opportunities I had and reflect upon them.  Not just the nine shows I was fortunate to perform in, but the might have beens too. Forgive the cliches and the obvious lessons.  But it's my blog and it's my way of being grateful.

Sweeney Todd – Title Role - Dec/Jan

There are times for being selfish and times for being selfless. Plan accordingly.

• It’s interesting how sticking to your priorities and beliefs can pay off.  I had originally auditioned for the title role back in July/Aug of 2012 for the October 2012 production, but had a conflict on the last Saturday of the performance schedule.  It certainly was something I could have changed, but it was important to me and my relationship that I put my girlfriend first.  I don’t know whether I would have been offered the role had I been willing to change my conflict, but I knew that I had sacrificed important people and relationships in the past and I didn’t want to repeat mistakes.  I don’t regret that choice, and I think I earned the respect from the Director for sticking to my principles.  As things would turn out, the show was a success and was remounted for an additional run in Jan 2013.  As things would also turn out, the lead couldn’t meet all the performance dates in January.  So I was called.  I re-auditioned and accepted the role on the condition that I would have guaranteed performances.  And so began the two week process of learning the title role of Sondheim’s most recognized work.  The second run was a sell-out success, and I got to put a check by my #1 bucket list role.  It's not crossed off yet, because I’m not done with it.  I surprised myself in this production. Firstly, I was scared shitless that I wouldn’t learn the role in time and that I couldn’t meet the vocal demands of the show. Or worse: I’d be a flop.  Thankfully, I had a ton of support and brought everything I had to the performances.  I had a few bumps, but nothing noticeable and I finally found my voice again after years of struggling.

Next to Normal – Dr. Fine/Dr. Madden - March

There are shows you want to do and shows that you have to do. Learn the difference.

• This was a show that I “had” to do.  Some shows just speak to you and this show screamed to me.  Suffice to say, I’ve lived this show and knew all too well the emotions that this show would invoke.  I knew that Dan Goodman was the role I had to play.   I was confident in many things going into the audition process, but the voice I found in Sweeney was gone……..or at least misplaced.  Regardless, I still got the callback, but then it just got worse.  After the callback, I waited two weeks; no communication save for the production posting for more men to audition.  After a few messages back and forth, I was told I was no longer being considered for the role of Dan, and that was that.  Except it wasn’t.  I was asked to re-audition and despite feeling I would be able to “bring it”, I didn’t. In the end, I accepted the roles of Dr. Fine/Dr. Madden.  Like I said before, I had to do the show.  It was a very good production, and we had great reviews.  I was proud of my performances and received praise for this being some of my best vocal work.    Still, it was a difficult show to perform, and not because of the emotions I had to deal with from the show’s subject matter.  I learned from this production that your heart has to be 100% invested.  I certainly didn’t shirk my responsibilities in this production, but I can certainly attest to how hard it is to be part of a show and watch someone else perform “your” role.  I know now that should I be put in this position again, I’ll have to work extra hard to embrace the role I’m offered or pass on the production all together, regardless of how much the show screams at me.

Violet –  April

Respect requests to audition.  Even if you are unable to accommodate, show some courtesy.

• I probably could have done this show, as it would have worked within my schedule, but sometimes time just runs out and things don’t happen.  I didn’t audition for this show as I wanted to be available for the first show of Super Summer Theater, Music Man.  Still, I was contacted by the production to audition and did, and might have had the role, but ultimately didn't.  Not sure what the reasoning was, but “potential conflict” was likely the cause.  No hard feelings by either party.  It is what it is.  I will say that I will always honor requests to audition.  You never know what else may be down the road. 

Guys and Dolls – Benny Southstreet - March 29th

Sometimes you make exceptions for your friends and for the benefit of the show.

• I think this is the role that solidified the rumor that I was in every show, as it was only March and I was already doing another production.  Yet it was also another show that I didn’t audition for; as I wasn’t interested in doing just one performance.  I value my time, and didn’t want to spend a couple of months rehearsing to perform just one night.  Rude?  Maybe. Honest?  Absolutely.  Regardless, the director was in a bind and called me to help him out.  Four other actors had dropped the role of Benny Southstreet, and he wanted me to step in.  From what I knew, I wouldn’t have a lot of lines to learn, but a fair share of singing.  I also knew that with the show less than three weeks out, I would have to bust some ass. We worked my schedule and I had four nights of rehearsal plus two tech days of availability.  Game on.  It was a crap shoot, but we had a great show. And despite my qualms about a one night stand, it was cool to perform on the same stage as Elvis and in front of a 1,000 people.  Of course it's always cool to help a friend.

Tony and Tina’s Wedding – Father Mark - April (ongoing)

Sometimes the business is slow.  Things are only done when you stop.

• Three years and five callbacks later, I finally get cast in the perennial strip show, Tony and Tina’s wedding.  I never thought I’d get the call, especially since the role I was cast for had three performers already, but scheduling and timing worked in my favor and during the summer I finally got to perform in my third strip show.  Portraying Father Mark was short lived and anti-climactic, but I enjoyed putting the Improv chops back to work.  I’m still in the cast, but with the show down to two days a week, I’m not likely to see much stage time.  Still, I believe desire and persistence pay off.  In this case, literally.

Music Man – June

When your best isn’t good enough, don’t overthink it.  The Director just went in a different direction.

• There are the old sayings: “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” and “don’t put all your eggs into one basket”.  This show was a little of both for me.  Initially, I had been asked to audition for Urinetown and then for Violet, but I had my eyes set on portraying Harold Hill.  So I had one bird, maybe a second bird, but instead I put all my eggs in an Iowan basket.  Or at least I was Iowa Stubborn.  I had my heart set on playing opposite my real-life girlfriend and recapturing some of the summer theater magic from when we met two years ago.  Murphy’s Law won out and I ended being without any show.  I have no regrets.  I gave a great audition and had a better call back, but in the end I wasn’t what the director was looking for.   Thick skin is needed in this world, and if you dwell on all the roles you didn’t get, it’s likely you’ll miss other opportunities.  General rule: If you don’t think you’re good enough, how can you expect anyone else to?

Urinetown the Musical – Officer Barrel - May 

Make the best of every opportunity.  No one remembers mediocrity.

• So as it turns out, I didn’t audition for Urinetown and yet the Director still contacted me after a cast member dropped out of the show.  The director was looking to see if I knew anyone that would be willing to step into the role of Officer Barrel, and since I wasn't doing Music Man, I volunteered.  He didn’t expect me to offer myself, and I think he was surprised that I’d be willing to take a small role.  I had three weeks before curtain and not a whole lot to learn, but I still took advantage of the opportunity to work with Nevada Conservatory at UNLV.  I made a lot of new contacts and did a lot with what would normally just be considered a “featured ensemble” role.

How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying -  July

Yeah…..you’ll never succeed without trying.

• Not much to say on this one.  Went in, auditioned, got called back, went back in and that was it.  I never got a bad feel on this one, but that’s how it is sometimes.  Things just happen.  That’s show business.  It’s cliché, but true. That’s why it’s cliché.

Sudoku [the musical] - Clint - June

Put yourself out there.  The risk is great, but the reward is greater.

• An unforgettable show.  I describe it as a two hour show in a 30 minute bag.  An original musical with an emotional story.  Since I wasn’t doing either of the first two shows of SST, I thought I’d audition for a show in the 4^th annual LV Fringe Festival.   I’d been asked about a couple of other entries, but I was curious about one in particular: an original…..world premiere…...a challenge.  I got the challenge right away with the entire production.  I was working with a new director, new music director, a rock-style score and a stage partner that I was really intimidated by.  Two months later, I walked away with some of the best lessons I’ve ever learned from being on the stage.    I found my voice in a way that I hadn’t before.  I learned that when you share the stage with someone, anyone, you have to rise beyond any expectations or limitations and tell the story.  This show gave me new vision and energy and was worth every second.  Sadly it was over too soon, but this is the show that will stay with me forever.  It wasn’t about the sell-out performances or about winning “Best of Fringe”. Those things were great, but what was best was the feeling I felt after every performance that the audience was with us for the journey.

Legally Blonde – August
Show respect, get respect.  No one will fault you for your professionalism.

• This would have been a fun show to do.  And there was a part of me that considered putting myself up for the role of Prof Callahan.  My girlfriend was up for a good role and the pressure to do a show with her was mounting.  We had tried three other times and this could have been the show.  Regardless, I knew I was being considered for a role in the fourth Super Summer Production, The Producers, and I really wanted it.  I was contacted by the director to come to the auditions, but I explained to him that I was auditioning for the next show.  Still, I got a call back from him and he wanted me to consider the role of Callahan.  I’ll admit, I thought about it.  It would have been a juicy role and I could have spent a lot more time with my girlfriend.  But I passed.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being offered roles without having to audition, but I prefer to work for the roles I want.  

Raiding the Rock Vault – Nash Freeman - July (ongoing)
You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you never take.

• The irony of theater hit hard on this one.  I found out about the casting of this project months prior; before the show ever came to Vegas from its previews in LA.  I was told I was too old for the part of the show’s narrator.  The person who told me this was in no way involved with the project, but I believed him.  I didn’t think much of it then, but when auditions were called for understudies, I realized that his opinion didn’t matter so I set out to prove him wrong.  This was a fairly big deal as it was for a show at the Hilton (LVH) and paid really well.  I knew who I would be going up against, and when all was said and done, I beat out all the others.  All of them younger than me and some half my age.  I would jump at the chance to do this show nightly. It’s one of those shows that feel like opening night every night.  I doubt it will happen, but I’m always excited when I’m called in for the show.  I try not to have regrets, but I do wish I’d had more faith in myself and auditioned for the role in the first place.  Glad I do now.

The Producers – Roger De Bris - September
If you’re expected to bring it, you better damn well bring it.

• So I waited over year to audition for this show and I had both the luxury and curse of knowing that the role was mine to lose.  I say that a bit tongue in cheek as nothing was guaranteed.  Had I blown my audition, I am sure I never would have been offered the role.  Still, I had worked with the director twice before, and I knew that when he told me months before to look at the role, that I had a shot.  Needless to say, I put everything into the audition and eventually into the role.  Very proud of my performances, especially after totally my car two weeks before opening and wiping out on my motorcycle during the second week of performances.  Supposedly I stole the show…….and according to the review, the show within the show.  Heil Myself!

Line – Dolan - November
Enjoy the ride and pay attention.  There is always something to learn.

• This one came out of the blue.  I hadn’t auditioned for the show, and honestly didn’t even know about it.  UNLV’s Nevada Conservatory Theatre and Cockroach Theatre were both celebrating their 10^th anniversaries, and it was decided to do a collaborative production to commemorate the event.  As it turns out, Line was the first production done by Cockroach and to bring it full circle, it would be directed by one of the former cast members.  I was contacted by the director and offered the role of Dolan without audition.  Oddly, it was the same character he had portrayed ten years ago, so it was kind of cool to be considered.  I accepted knowing little of the show, but I trusted the director as he was the director of Sudoku.  I was the only cast member that was not a student of UNLV, and for that matter the only non-UNLV affiliate in the entire production.  Still, it was great to work with hungry actors.   I got to see myself in their eyes and remember some of the earlier years.  Let's hope I carry that with me for the next production. ......Master of the House????? Fingers  crossed.

Ready For My Close-up

So I've been shifting gears with acting the past month.  Less theater and more film.  It's not that there hasn't been the opportunities to do more theater, but I have to prioritize my time. Even before "The Producers" finished I'd been offered no less than three roles.  I hadn't even auditioned for the shows, but offers kept coming. I'm eternally grateful for the confidence bestowed upon me and I'm continually amazed how far I've come in my craft.  To know that I'm desired is a great feeling, and I value every role and production I'm in. But unfortunately, it comes at a cost; emotionally, financially and spiritually.  Most of what I do is unpaid, and although I enjoy every aspect of the process, I am usually spending my own money for the shows I do. I can't do that forever.  I also can't continue to sacrifice my relationships simply to be in a show.  Of course I look forward to the next show, but I can't just jump from one production to the next without factoring in the effect(s) on me.  Lately I've been wondering, "To what end will that role benefit me?" It's horrible that I would be so shallow, but if I want to advance in my career, I have to be more selective with the roles I choose to accept.  When it comes down to it, I can't give three months of my life to ensemble work.  Not here at least.  I've paid my dues here, and unless I'm being paid, I have to choose shows and roles that either speak to me on a personal level, or in all honesty, look good on my resume.  I know that there will be the occasional exception, but I also know that those favors will be returned.  I'm trying my best not to be so selfish and conceited, but I honestly believe I've reached a level here in Vegas that requires me to either move forward or concede to theater just being a hobby.

That's why I'm trying to do more film.  I have a very limited reel when it comes to the big/small screen, and if I want to move to the next level, I need to add more to it.  Pretty simple.  Of course it's a relatively new realm for me. The process is completely different and the timing is tough.  Perhaps that's why I haven't focused on film as much in the past.  I can't just take a week off of work to be an extra on a major motion picture in hopes of getting a bump to a speaking or featured role.  That means it's the Independent and Student film run for me. I have to start somewhere, right?  I actually am enjoying the experience so far.  Not that I haven't done films in the past, but they've been so spread out before that each time almost felt like the first time.  At present, I've had four auditions for local and student films in the past two months and I've been cast in three so far. Plus I've been asked to be in two others based on past work.  Not too bad.  Of course I had to back out of one due to scheduling conflicts and another may fall to the wayside for the same reasons.  Still, I'm thrilled for the offers.  The biggest issue is the fact that the productions are low/no budget, so their respective schedules are always in flux.  Of course, I try to be flexible, but you can't just say to me, "Hey! We're filming tomorrow. We need you for 15 hours." Since I'm not seeing any $$ and I'm not under any contract, I can't be expected to drop everything for some student film maker when his mom lets him borrow the\ car for craft services. I would hope that they would have their shit in order by the time they begin casting, but.....you know......  Again, it's a learning experience for everyone, so I expect some bombs and some wasted time. As I'm building my reel, I will forgo these issues, much in the same way I did when I first started doing theater.  I suppose I'll post again to bitch about that later.

All told, I believe that the strong theater foundation I've developed over the years will help push my progress in film that much faster.  It may take some time to actually get enough footage to produce a solid reel, but I'm in for the long haul.  I guess the proof will be when I move to a bigger market, or the bigger market comes to me.  Till then, I'll be humble and professional and grateful.

Charmed I'm Sure.

I restarted this blog as a means to assist my depression therapy and while I find the process cathartic, I also find it beneficial to share pearls of wisdom.......or at least what I find helpful to artists reading these posts.  Of course, if you notice, I haven't been too prolific as of late.  Not my fault! I swear!  I've been busy.  Between work, rehearsals and shows, I've hardly enough time to maintain proper hygiene, let alone write in my blog. Still, there are moments of clarity that prompt me to share.  I find that if I take note of the positive things and deposit them here, I'm likely to remember them and keep applying them to my career and my life in general.

So the past month has been full of experiences that have re-invigorated me and have given me the drive to push forward.  Some of the opportunities were of my own doing, some were a result of something else I'd done and then there were some despite my own doing.  The Recap:


*The Producers:  Super Summer Theater - Sept 2013 - Roger De Bris
I'll start with this one since it goes back the farthest.  I was cast a few years back in The Rocky Horror Show and impressed upon the director my acting/comedic/singing talent.  That led to him asking me to play the role of John in Oleanna.  That performance received some critical acclaim and praise.  Fast forward to a couple of months ago.  He's directing The Producers and wants me to audition. My confidence is much higher than in years past, but I still have to bring it.  The role was mine to lose.  The show opens in five weeks.  I'm loving it.

*Raiding the Rock Vault:  Las Vegas Hotel - Summer 2013 - Nash Freeman (host)
This one has the most impact.  Never let anyone tell you to not audition for a role. If you think you have a shot, then go for it.  So it was when the original call for actors came on this rock concert style show.   I was told by a fellow actor not to audition.....I was too old.  I trusted the individual as a peer and much to my chagrin should never have even considered his opinion. Whether or not I would have been cast is irrelevant.  The fact remains that I was cast as the understudy for the exact role I was told I was too old for.   Two additional notes: 1-I was recommended by a friend to audition.  There were not public notices. 2-I was the only one that bothered to memorize the lines for the audition and the call backs.

*Caesars Entertainment: Training Video - Filming first week in August

Another instance of being cast without an audition.  Having impressed upon my director for Sudoku the Musical at the LVLT Fringe Festival, he recommended me for the shoot to the production company hired to do the shoot.

*Los Acusados: Independent Film - Filming Late August

Yet again, cast without an audition.  I was actually planning on auditioning for this production, but couldn't get out of work.  The director got my name from another short film I'd done about a year ago.  The director of that recommended me.  

I think you see the trend here.  The work you do now may have residual effects months even years later. If you are professional and prepared, it will be noticed.   If you believe in yourself, you can overcome assumptions and misconceptions.  Even if you don't land that desired role, if you show who you are and give your best, someone will remember you.  Be honest and true.  Give respect to the process and the process will work for you.

Now those of you actually following my sporadic posts know that I've been lucky with having a number of recent casting offered to me without auditioning.  While that may be true, I didn't get cast in just as many. And I passed on ones that I didn't see myself doing.  The difference here is that I'm moving in a direction where $$ is playing a factor.  So much so that had I gotten the LVH gig from the get go, I'd be banking more for 15 hours a week than I do for 40 at my day job.  I'm still about the craft. But Damn!  It's nice to be paid.

So as a reminder to myself.  Don't let the discouragement prevent you from being great.  Don't let the opportunities be wasted with half-hearted effort.  Don't allow others to determine your path.  The worst anyone can say is "No".  But even that "No" can lead to a yes later on.  Some very positive feelings here.

I didn't add the week I spent at Faith Lutheran H.S. for the annual Mellow Dramatists camp. I think that deserves its own post.  I also didn't mention the permanent hiatus of the Radio Show, Curtain Call either. More on that to come later as well.  Don't let me forget.

A Super Summer

The summer theater in Las Vegas is in full swing and despite the frustrations one would typically feel with all the auditions, call backs, rehearsals or rejections, I'm feeling pretty good.  That's another trend that I'm enjoying lately.   Knock on wood.

The Music Man opened Wednesday at Spring Mountain Ranch, and I'm over the frustration of not getting cast as Professor Harold Hill.  I'm also over not getting cast as J.B. Biggley in the July production of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. I didn't even audition for the August production of Legally Blonde, but based on current casting needs, may have had a good shot at Professor Callahan.   Blah Blah.  Don't get me wrong, I would have been thrilled to be in any of those productions and would have enjoyed working with the directors and my friends. Things happen for a reason though and I can't complain.  I won't complain; at least not much. And if I do, stop me.  I've been fortunate and honored and humbled the past year with the roles I've been cast in and so, I will always defer to the directors' choices: good or bad.

So tonight, instead of trying to swindle River City, Iowan's out of their money, or being in one rehearsal or another, I get to be on stage in a short but very rewarding musical.  The 4th annual Las Vegas Fringe Festival  closes tonight with the "Best Of" encore performances of three shows; Sudoku [the musical] being the one I'm in.  Four judges cast their votes for the two best shows and Sudoku had the highest number of votes with two others being tied for second.  It's not billed that way as 1st, 2nd.....etc, but I wanted to take a little pride here in my therapy session to gloat.  Albeit, the scores were very close.  Still!  This is my blog and I can state it here with somewhat immunity.  And done.

I love when theater experiences transcend venue and money and all the other trappings of an actor's fragile sense of ego.  Sudoku was and is a groundbreaking experience for me.  This show, and the people involved with it have pushed me and my talent to a new level.  I feel stronger as both a vocalist and actor and owe a lot to the expectations this show required.  By expectations, I mean the writer, the lyricist, the composer, the director and my co-star.  All of whom trusted me without question and gave me the confidence to believe in myself.  No small feat.

So tonight and tomorrow night I get to solve the puzzle again and enjoy the triumph of "Theatre of the Heart".   And so I say again, "Things happen for a reason."  Had I been cast in Music Man, or H2 Succeed, or even Xanadu (maybe not as there were others in Fringe from this one), I would not have even auditioned for Sudoku. This is the first year I could have even auditioned for Fringe. I've been asked to in the past, but couldn't as I was committed to other shows.  I haven't even done a new works festival or any kind of festival since 1997 when I was just starting out in Pittsburgh.  

So I humbly thank everyone that has supported the project by coming to see it.  Sold out every performance but the last one, and we were close on that one.  I feel renewed and energized and ready for the next challenge.......which I am already prepping for........The Producers.  And I'll need that strength since I'll be playing Roger DeBris, the Director of Springtime for Hitler and inevitably the lead in Springtime for Hitler as Hitler.  And did I mention he's as gay as a three dollar bill?  Heil Myself!!

Birds and Hands and Bushes

I think sometimes that as an actor I should stop fighting against certain trends. I've been incredibly lucky the past year having a string of successful shows and my reputation is, at least in my mind, improving.  Never really felt like I had a bad one, but I can definitely say that having a good one is way more beneficial.

So should I just take advantage of that?   Part of me wants to, but the purest in me wants to continue to put myself out there, and audition for shows. Even when I know going in that I'm nowhere on the Director's radar.  Maybe that's presumptive of me, but after enough auditions, you can read the faces behind the table.  Body language and facial expressions and the sometimes blase communique tell a lot.  I expect that to some extent in the cattle call auditions, but not in call backs.  All that is beside the point.  If you bring your best and your still don't get cast....that's part of the process.  I'm used to it and shrug it off.  Regardless, I made a list of shows I wanted to do this year, and so far, I'm 0-2.  Now technically I was in the first show on my list, but not in the role I wanted.  Long drawn out story on that one. Probably commented in a past blog entry.  But #2 I'm definitely not a part of.  I only wanted the title role and made callbacks.....of course I got stuck in traffic and was late.  Never a good sign, but I still felt I had a good callback.  For whatever reason didn't happen.  Move on.

But that got me thinking.  I had two other shows I could have done.  Two good shows with good solid characters and an opportunity to work in a different venues.  And I passed on them due to my list.  Now part of that was I wanted to play opposite of my girlfriend, but obviously that's not happening in this show.  (She's still up for her role though).   So what do you do?

It's the summer season in Las Vegas, and there are a ton of shows having auditions and I don't have a clue what to audition for.  There's Super Summer Theater, Fringe Festival, LVLT, and a myriad of other theater groups with venues, but I'm still hung up on whether I should just prepare for all of them, or wait for someone to come to me....  Because that's what it's been like lately.  I've had directors and producers asking me to audition.  It's a great sign when someone says, "I'd love for you to come read for ___________. You'd be perfect for it."  And I've passed on every one.  I don't know what that means, but I can't help wonder if I should just follow that path and tell directors. "If the audition I didn't go to was good enough to give me a call back, then the call back I won't be at should be brilliant and you should just cast me now."

But I want the roles I choose to speak to me, or be intriguing or something that will challenge me.  Sure there are a few roles that I want for the opportunity to be the lead, but those have their challenges.  I don't want to just take roles because they're handed to me......unless they fall into one of the above categories.  I'm humble, not stupid.

I certainly don't want easy, but I need to recognize that I'm not every director's cup of tea or coffee or whatever diet-decaffeinated-herbal liquid they're ingesting.  Perhaps I should look closer at my options and decide what will advance me more in my career.   Of course I say this after just being cast in another Strip Show that pays, and I'm complaining about doing theater for free.

Thank God it's Friday.

No Small Actors Need Apply

So Las Vegas seems to have hit a saturation point with the number of local theatrical productions and the apparent lack of "talent".  I've mentioned this in a few prior posts, but I restate it here as it relates to this one.

There are no small parts, only small actors.   ~Konstantin Stanislavisky

I've heard this quote many times over the years and always presumed to understand its meaning.  It's not too difficult to comprehend, but I've been seeing a trend around here that I too am guilty of: 

• Not taking roles because you think it's a waste of your talent.  
• Or the opposite, only auditioning for the lead and not accepting smaller roles. 

And it appears to me that many of us could stand to reflect on the above quote and figure out what it means to each of us.

Personally, I have seen myself not appreciating the time and commitment necessary to fulfill the roles of non-principles or ensemble cast members.  I've been there, and never received praise, never got acknowledged beyond the program or by family and friends that attended performances and never expected as much.  I always saw it as paying dues.  Over time, I accepted fewer and fewer roles of that nature.  I don't think I've been in an ensemble in over 10 years.  A recent article on a fellow Sweeney Todd cast member made me realize the importance of a strong ensemble. So I'm reconsidering possible roles for this summers SST lineup (see below).

Actors are driven to certain roles and some productions just call to you.  I was struck with just such a situation with my current production, Next To Normal.  It's a six person cast, and I wanted to play the "Male Lead". (I know. There are four Male roles, two adult and two teen. Technically there are two Male Leads. Whatever.  Let me get back to my point.)  I went into the auditions and did not put the supporting character as one I was interested in.  I wanted to play opposite my girlfriend, and as it was, neither of us were offered the main roles.  (Feel free to read backward in my blog for the deeper story of the casting issues I dealt with.)  As it turned out, I was offered the role of Dr. Fine/Madden.  And after some deliberation, I accepted.  

I want to state, that this show in no way has small roles.  It was never my intention to give any indication that that's what I thought.  I wanted the vocal challenge that the role of Dan would offer, and with the "saturation" issue, I had other role opportunities.  And that's when it dawned on me.  I was considering other roles for shows that didn't speak to me.  I realized, I wanted to be in this show.  When I first heard it was going to be produced here, I was excited.   The story and the characters hit so close to home that up until I accepted the role, I was waking up to myself singing the music in my sleep.  Other shows offered good roles, and some shows I could have gone for the leads.  That didn't interest me.  There are certain shows that I would love to perform in, Street Car, Death of a Salesman, Glengarry Glen Ross, and  more Musicals than I can list, but my time for those will come.  This one is now and powerful and with a great cast.  I wanted to be a part of that.  I wanted to tell my story and be part of the larger story too.  Can't do that if you are always holding out for the lead.

I told that to my girlfriend last night.  We are going to audition together for Music Man (Her for Marian the Librarian and me for Prof. Hill).  I told her that I'd take an ensemble role if she got Marian and I didn't get offered anything.  It's about having the passion to share the tale. Sharing the experience together.  I got to do that last summer with my daughter when we did Joseph together.  It's not about padding your actor's resume........(sometimes it is, but that's another post).  But you have to want it.  The last time I felt that way was Oct 2011 with Avenue Q.  I wasn't cast, but I called the director and told him I'd do anything.  Just be Trekkie's right arm, whatever.  I'd make my schedule work.  As it turned out, I got to be Nicky for a few performances and a Bad Idea Bear for the run.  A great experience.  Ironically, our Kate Monster is playing Diana in Next to Normal and our Princeton is creating the music tracks.


I guess my point is that if the role doesn't speak to you, it doesn't matter what the offer is.  I would never accept a role in a show I wasn't interested in, or had no connection to.  Maybe there's a dollar figure in there somewhere that might change that, but I look at the above quote differently now.  A small minded actor never sees the big picture, only the glory/fame/accolades of a role.  A true actor sees every piece and knows where he/she fits.  Those actors are connected to the story and each other and only by having that connection can the audience see the vision. That's what I want.  I'll get that with Next to Normal.

When did I become a Diva?

I don't know when it happened, or what caused it, but lately I've just wanted to tell everyone, "If you need me, I'll be in my trailer."  I feel that my acting is a commodity, and though I perform for free, I'm about to just tell directors to just cast me.  It's frustrating to be asked to go to auditions and not get cast, but it's even worse when you don't go and then get the speech by a director/producer, "Why didn't you go?  The part was yours? You would have killed it."   If that's your assessment without me even auditioning, then obviously you should just give me the role.  Don't make me feel guilty for not going.  I have my reasons, ok? Like maybe I have four other shows that I have already been called back for.  Which is something entirely different, since two of them I didn't even audition for in the first place.

I think Vegas Theater has reached its saturation point.  With the number of theater groups putting on shows, and the lack of turnout (especially with musicals), it's hard to pick and choose what I'd like to do.  There are some shows that won't ever go away  (*cough* Camelot) and some that no one knows (Violet), and some where the timing is right for my age type (Music Man).  Then comes the part where directors ask me to audition.  I respect the process and if I'm interested in the show/role I'm all over it, but it's beginning to feel like I'd be better to just sit back and wait for offers.  Too many shows right now are extending auditions.  Camelot doesn't have a Lancelot?  Nobody went to Violet auditions?  And don't even get me started on Next to Normal.

I picked my calendar out last Nov/Dec and it was reasonable.  Next to Normal, Urinetown, Music Man or How To Succeed, Producers, Into the Woods.  Those were the shows I wanted to do.  Roles were varied, but I like the character roles and strong leads.  A little mix of that with these shows.  Of course, I have to audition and be cast, but I'm confident in my abilities.  If the Director has a different vision that I don't fit into, I'm fine with that.  There was some overlap with these shows, so I didn't figure I could realistically do them all, but I love to perform and like I said, I trust my abilities........except my falsetto bridge.......a post for later.

So obviously, I didn't plan on auditioning for Irma Vep or Clockwork Orange or Guys and Dolls or One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest or Death of a Salesman or a slew of others.  Maybe it was scheduling.  Maybe I don't know the show.  Maybe I don't trust the director/producer/likely cast.  Doesn't matter.  These were the fallbacks I guess.  I didn't get cast for Next to Normal (wait for it), so I auditioned for Irma Vep, which I also didn't get cast.  Fine.  Urinetown was next, except I'm asked to come to call backs for two other shows, plus Tony and Tina's at Ballys wants me to come back for a fifth callback......another post for later.  And to top it off, I'm asked to come back for Next to Normal.  And still didn't get the role of Dan, though offered the Doctor....but only cause the first person cast had to back out.

So why am I busting my butt?  Had I not gone into Next to Normal auditions, I probably still would have been asked to, simply because there weren't enough choices.  Maybe the same results, but three weeks of stress averted.  Now I'm stuck with callbacks for shows that weren't on my list, but I would enjoy doing, an offer for a role I didn't list as one I wanted, but for a show I've fallen in love with (more love/hate at the moment). And to top it off, I'm getting criticism for not going to other auditions and for considering a role I'm actually being offered.  Ahhh.  This shouldn't be so hard.

So, I'm tempted to just be "that guy".  It will kill most opportunities I have, but I'm doing this for free.  DON'T make me tell you that I have to be paid.  DON'T make me just wait for you to come to me with an offer.  DON'T be upset if I don't go to auditions.  Be proactive.  Just call me and offer me the role, don't tell me it was mine if only I'd gone to auditions.  That's bullshit.

I've just realized I don't have a trailer.  I've also realized that I'm not being paid, so why stress at all.   Maybe I'll split the difference and tell people, "If the audition I didn't go to was good enough to get me a call back, then me not going to the call back should be perfect for me getting the role".   I'll be in my SMART car if anyone needs me.