Pagan Rituals

So another year is fast approaching its end. And I find my lack of enthusiasm for the holidays coming much sooner than last year. Yes, just like the Christmas decorations at your local Wal-Mart being displayed around Labor Day, I too have my personal feelings displayed like a black garland strand all too soon.

All the festivities I used to enjoy as a child are now so commercialized and diluted that I can't tell one from the next. So, as such, I say "Bah Humbug" to them all! Happy Hallo-thanksmas everyone! And to not be politically incorrect to other religions and socially accepted organizations, "Merry Christma-chanu-quanza-kah."

And what sucks even more, is that my parents had to conceive me during the spring, which forced my birth to fall right in the middle of all the Hallmark claptrap. It's no wonder this time of year is my least favorite. I can't even enjoy getting older without the constant reminder that there's only 37 days 'til X-mas.

The good news is that after 34 years of this blurring of celebration, I can now recognize my loathing. No more do I have to sit and ponder why I'm so depressed. I simply "know." It's the corporations' fault. I accept that. I understand their obsessive need to rake in billions of dollars for the crap they sell. On some levels, I even respect it. But let's be honest. The whole reason for the holidays being celebrated is lost. And far be it for our educational system to put a single toe out of line and even attempt to mention Jesus or the Pilgrims without the fear of a class action lawsuit for teaching religion. It's gotten so bad that many states don't even celebrate Columbus Day, but instead take the federal holiday in observance of "All Cultures' Day." So, yes, I blame the government too. And the media. Their dirty hands have to be in this one too.

Do I smell conspiracy?

I'm not so much of a purist, mind you. I am not devout in any religion, and I don't prescribe to any one theological doctrine. In fact, I'm just your average, ordinary, cynical, Non-Partisan, pseudo-environmentalist-cum-neo-libertarian, realist. Nothing fancy.

I just believe that our society shields itself from what is really there. It's the whole "out of sight, out of mind" principle, flavored with "as long as I've got mine" and "not in my backyard" thrown in for good measure. We're so afraid of offending someone, somewhere that our opinions can't even be offered without fear of backlash. It’s gotten so bad that we’re a country full of strangers in a world that’s never been as closely connected as it is today.

So this holiday season I have one wish, and it comes at no cost to you. It’s one-size-fits-all gift. I hope people will try to put aside their preconceived notions about religion, color or nationality. That they’ll disregard other people’s political stances or sexual preferences. That people will just be honest and intelligent. That they will take some time and just think; think what it means to be alive. Maybe even offer a little understanding and respect for their fellow man.

Shit! I’m starting to sound like a “Hallmark Hall of Fame” movie of the week.

Tonight on Lifetime, the touching story of an actor who’s listened to too many John Lennon songs.

It’s no wonder I hate the holidays.

On Writing II

It's odd. I have an entire week to think about what to put in my blog, but come Friday I have nothing. No clever ideas. No witty commentary on world events. And no smarmy concepts to ridicule the glut of blogs out there. (Though I will admit, I started this week's blog using a guest writer. Suffice to say, had I pursued another contrived, blog-bashing premise, my one reader would inundate me with his comments on how I'm degrading this bastion of online journalism.)

So again, I'm faced with the perplexing problem of providing provocative prose. Alas! Alliteration! Altogether amusing and ambitious. I find fun and frivolity in formulating fascinating fiction. Often overlooked on our opus of oration, omnibus and opuscules. Yet years of yearning usually yields yards of useful euphemisms. Tired of this tirade of tumultuous text? Tough! Today's tome tests the tenacity of triviality and temptation. Lest you loathe literary license? Methinks, maybe more mortals might make more meaningful morals manipulating means meant to meditate and massage the mind. Just a juxtaposition. Jocularity just of jibes of juvenile gestures.

Sidebar- Sure, some selections seem shady; sounding superficial and salacious. Seemingly superfluous and spurious. So? Suppose society supplements some sophisticated sustenance; subsistence suppressing cynicism? Sufficient supplies surely should support some stupendous and significant substance.

Nevermind numerous, numb neurons. Now our Nation needs nutrients. New nuggets of necessary knowledge. Natural and native. No nihilism. No negativity. No narcissism. Nondiscriminatory, neonatal nobility; negating nadir. Nice!

How? Hmmm.......
How 'bout a helping hand. Who here hasn't happened upon humanity's horrible hardships: headaches, hernias, hemorrhoids? Heaven's humble heart hopes heathens here hearken heedfulness.

Hasta Hommies.

The preceding blog was brought to you today by the letters F and U.

The Week in Review

Damn!
Hard to believe it's been a week already. Remember a week ago I promised to post every week? Wow! Those were great times. Time sure does go by fast when you're required to post on a regular basis. Granted it's a self-imposed requirement, but I do try to honor my promises.

So to make it easy on myself, (since I have no real reason to post other than I have to), I'll recap the exciting events of the past week.

The week of Oct 7-14, 2005:

Well, I went to work every day I was scheduled. Didn't call off or play hooky. I'm so proud of myself. At work I fixed computers and supervised assistants, and even had the opportunity to read email and do research on the web. Not only did I go to work, but afterward, I went home too. Feels good to accomplish so much in such a short time.

Oh! This is exciting. I had a meeting to attend this week. What a great opportunity to offer my well thought out ideas to people whose opinions I regard so highly. I really feel that my presence was appreciated and valued. Can't wait to see the implementation of my plans. I'll keep you posted.

Now if that wasn't enough, you should hear what I did at home. Almost too much to tell. Didn't eat breakfast or lunch all week, bad habit I know, but that's just part of the hectic schedule that is Glenn. Good news, though, I did eat dinner every night. Even prepared a few of the meals. Watch out Emeril! Ah, and the evenings; a little TV, some relaxing reading, even went crazy one night and listened to music while playing a game with the family. We're such the multi-tasked family. I do have to admit that I was a bad boy this week. I had a glass of wine with dinner on Tuesday, and darn it if it didn't make my fall asleep early.

Gosh, it's so hard for me to believe that all that happened this week. It's amazing I have any time left for performing improvisation, or assisting with the casting of a new production for The Learning Channel. Of course that's not very exciting.

Well, that's about it. Glad I could keep you up to date with everything important in my life.
Have a great week. We'll see you here again real soon.

Bless.

Oh the Humanity!

I feel so dirty, succumbing to peer pressure. What am I, 13 years old? I've been trying to not have a banal blog, like so many others, and only post when something intriguing occurs in my mind. But, apparently, that doesn't happen too often. So now here I am again posting to please my fan base.

As such, I hereby pledge to do the following: (in no particular order)

• Not be so contrived in my postings. From this point forward I'll use my humor and wit only for good, not for self-indulgence or for the senseless bashing of loyal reader(s).

• Post more often. Once a week to start, perhaps more if necessary. This should be acceptable as my prior posting schedule was on the timeline of "Whenever I damn well feel like it".

• Tell heartwarming anecdotes from my childhood. Who doesn't love a good tale of abuse and neglect, especially when it can be dredged up by friends at inopportune times?

• Attach useful links and cute photos of animals in clothes. What blog would be complete without that homespun, American feel of apple pie recipes and snapshots of Rover wearing a burkha?

• Be more sensitive. It goes without saying that I should have more respect for the idiots and morons that I deal with on a daily basis. Though they may be the dregs of society, and have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, they still serve a useful purpose to someone...somewhere

So for now I bid you adieu, but only for the next 6 days, 23 hours and let's say 27 minutes.

Oh and before I forget, enjoy the following:
Apple pie recipe